“Crabs in a Bucket” by Joseph Vasquez

Image source https://es.pinterest.com/pin/417005246728349186/

Have you ever seen a bunch of crabs in a bucket? If you have, you’d notice that when one tries to climb out, the others will pull it back down. Instead of watching another escape, or better yet, working out a plan for all to escape, they would rather die than see one make it out.

I will never understand why a crab would do this. (I love crab legs, so keep them in the bucket and serve them with butter and lemon) Okay, back to the subject. A lot of people have the crab mindset. Thankfully we don’t live in a bucket, but why is it so hard to support one another? Why would we rather see someone suffering than succeeding?

My theory:  Other’s success exposes our excuses. I’m sure we’ve all heard and said one of the following:

The only reason she got promoted is that she dresses like that.

Of course you have it easier because you’re ___________

I would have made it too, but they don’t like me.

And many, many many.

There’s Injustice in the world, and it’s always going to be. Some people will have to work harder for the same opportunities as others, some people will have to overcome things most people would never imagine going through, but our individual journeys develop our character.

I, for one, am happy when I see other writers succeed because it means there are readers out there waiting to enjoy someone’s work. I love stories of people making it because it gives hope.

We need to stop pulling each other down. If we’re stuck in a bucket, let’s build a ladder that we can all use to get out. I want to sit on the beaches of the world, I want to wake up in Rome and have breakfast with my future wife whenever we feel like it, and I want to see others enjoy that same lifestyle.


I live in beautiful, sunny Southern California, the longest I’ve gone without a dog is two weeks, and I’m going to write until I can’t anymore.

Am I a feminist? by Joseph Vasquez

NO! A feminist would have put an expletive in front of the no, it’s never right to talk like that in front of a lady.

What I am is a man that believes everyone should be treated equally as far as pay is concerned, and as far as opportunities go. I’m no feminist, I would never belittle a woman by telling her she’s as good as a man. I believe that a woman is meant to be treasured.

I believe women should be empowered to do anything, but men are not to treat them as equals.

The definition of a feminist may have good meanings, but it does more harm than good. Yes, a woman can do anything a man can do, but no, women were not meant to be treated like men.

Let’s look at the story of Adam and Eve, Adam was meant to watch over Eve, not the other way around. Adam was held responsible for taking care of Eve.

A woman deserves to have the door held for her, not because she’s weak, but because she’s respected.

I live in beautiful, sunny Southern California, the longest I’ve gone without a dog is two weeks, and I’m going to write until I can’t anymore.

“The relationship between forgiveness and anxiety” by Joseph Vasquez

Forgiveness is one of the best gifts you can give. If you can truly embrace the meaning of forgiveness and practice it, you will be capable of doing anything with your life. This may sound like an exaggeration but it’s true. Forgiveness is not necessarily for the benefit of the other person, but for your own benefit. We have all been hurt in some way or another, and odds are, you have hurt someone at some point in your life. Pain is a part of life, it’s not fun but it can help us grow.

Holding onto anger and resentment for too long can have an adverse effect on anxiety. How many of us are letting things from years ago still eat us up on the inside? One of the darkest moments in my life was when I was betrayed by a woman that I cared about. I saw her in a compromising position with a married man. This hurt my ego, it almost pushed me over the edge. It took several months for me to want to heal, then one day I decided it was time. The damage was done, and I kept reliving a moment that was tearing me apart.

One day I said: “It’s not my fault” that was the moment I started to heal. There was nothing wrong with me, I feel bad for her, and whatever made her make the choices that she did. She never sought it, but I forgave her, and it was like starting a new chapter

Forgive yourself! Understand that you are flawed, just like everyone else. There was only one perfect Man that ever walked the Earth, and no one will ever come close. Forgive yourself, and move on. Learn from the past, learn from the things that have hurt you. Anxiety is bad enough, don’t give it fuel.

I live in beautiful, sunny Southern California, the longest I’ve gone without a dog is two weeks, and I’m going to write until I can’t anymore.

BOOK REVIEW – NLP Techniques by Brian Ledger

NLP Techniques – Boost Your Self Confidence! Effective Techniques For: Self Hypnosis, Mind Control, & Focus.

This book is a guide to Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). The author defines the term as a group of techniques to improve your communication with the listener, related to their unconscious and subconscious. “My approach when writing this guide was to make it as practical and definite as possible so that you know how to incorporate it into your daily life.”

The author tells us about the “three essential ingredients” to run the NLP, why you should use it on your daily basis and the importance of self-control.

The reader can find four main techniques to apply this method, and “do’s and don’ts”.

The conclusion is a little encouragement to the reader to have a try and enjoy the benefits of the NLP.

My personal opinion is that this book summarizes the essential method of “making more positive” your thoughts and behavior in order to improve the consequences and results of everything you do. Framing your bad thoughts, fixing your anxiety in a prior good feeling so your mind can focus and redirect (which happens to be “anchoring”, but that is mostly known as “Happy Thoughts”). Now they call it NLP, but I think this manuscript is a very good quick sight to change your ways with the main goal of being happier and mentally healthier. And, who doesn’t need that? I like it because it’s clear and short, just what you need to wake up and motivate yourself to be just, the best version of yourself.


I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.


[…]Churches try to upsell Jesus to the mentally ill. They say that Jesus will solve all of your problems. It is only through Christ that you will find joy. How can you be a Christian and be so depressed? Don’t you know that God will lift your burdens if you give them to Him? It’s sad-shaming. And it only perpetuates the problem.[…]

[…]But, there’s a big difference between understanding and trivializing. And this is where the church can learn and grow.[…]

Accept the fact that happiness cannot be forced upon or shamed unto people. Destroy the existential disgrace of “free will or else”. Turn the stigmatic examples of Biblical exorcism into real life accounts of family members who struggle, but find ways to survive.[…]


Find the entire article on the link below. You need to read this, whichever your believes are, it will resonate with some corner of your soul.


Hey Church, Stop Sad-Shaming Me

I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.