WHAT DO HAVE THE GODS TO SAY. Compulsive thoughts.


[…]Have you ever felt the sharp pain in your chest, deep and warm, when you cannot stop doing things wrong? Yes. Like THAT dream where you cannot move easily as if you were covered in mud, so thoughts around you spin endlessly at a speed you cannot even guess what they are about, you just hear them cry out…

Walking fast, trying to leave behind all that noise but, ah no dear, it will follow you everywhere as your own shadow. Get out get out!!! *smiles* Hate becomes sadness keeping your eyes hurting all day long, because you can’t get rid of yourself.

Noise noise noise…. NOISE! Compulsive neuronal ruts are impossible to tear up. You try and try and break down your sources of hope and will. Water, I need water. Lots. Coffee, coffee maybe. But wait, ah… that sound… “when you go… what do have the Gods to say….?” yes. What was that about? I don’t know. SILENCE. Please…

Take control. Take control. Earth calling you, yes? you there? No, I’m out. I can’t focus… faster and faster. Speed up your fears, perhaps they will just sweep along with your obsessions, with the noise, with the water… My hands still covered in charcoal. Options are decreasing… spread way to thin, so you just look like a quiet soul, but you’re pure dynamite waiting for a trigger, patiently…. no, my mind doesn’t make a single thing patiently. Willingly. Perhaps. Constant… over and over and over. Yes? Yah, you know.

Welcome to my mind.[…]

I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.

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