Blaming, accusing and rejecting are not the way to care about special minds.

It’s been a long time since I wrote, because now I have amazing authors sharing their thoughts here. But today I felt like to share something.

I interact with many people everyday, read some others. The main problem people with some mental health issue have (we, have) is that we’re prey of judgments and cynicism. Introvert people never attack others, but you become a bull’s eye. Because you’re quiet, you’re arrogant (a relation that has always surprised me, but it’s real, and common because I have been told some times).

Society is complex. And not fitting is a real emotional problem. Because you need to become very strong and self confident as to not caring about being different. And if something misses in introvert/quiet/OCD’s/etc people, is self confidence. The “funny” fact about that, is that in an aim for being the same as everyone, the most beautiful people in this planet don’t even recognize each other, because all of them are pretending, and suffering. 

You get corrected, blamed, told off. You get excluded, attacked, misunderstood. “Why are you sad? Cheer up!” “Why are you so obsessed with things? Just be happy!” “Just stop doing that!” Are those familiar to you? You know what, one a soul shines bright in one direction, the opposite one stays in the shadows. A brilliant mind will have a escape of energy somewhere. A very intelligent person is very susceptible to suffer OCD, because the same capability of absorbing, processing, retaining information is the same that provokes obsessions and compulsive behavior. And people around blaming you, get it worse.

An extremely sensitive person, easily will catch depressive periods or lack of concentration, because their emotions blow them up. They are able to feel things the rest we don’t even dream of. And people around blaming you, make it worse.

And I could go on. But I don’t want to get anyone bored. When I’m nervous or stressed by something (which happens with ease) I become even more compulsive, I drink tons of water, I can’t focus, I draw without measure to the point that I get my hands all black and if I finish my sheets then I draw on napkins. Because I have venom to expulse. I don’t mean to be understood, I don’t need anyone to tell me “calm down”. You can’t say “be happy” to a depressive. You can’t tell to slow down to an OCD. Do you know what we need? I need someone to bring me more charcoal because “where the fuck all my charcoal went” is my only thought. My only compulsive, circular, obsessive thought.

And I won’t hear anything in that moment.

Do you know what to do with a depressive person? Stop with trash about how beautiful life is. Bring them some strawberry ice cream and lay down on the floor with them. Because that, too, will go away. Keep your wisdom for you, that is NOT the moment.

You can’t tell to a ADHD (deficit of attention and hyperactivity) to stop and listen to you, to stop worrying. Do you know why? because that awesome mind is thinking about ten million things, and the last thing they need to stand is you claiming their attention. They need to calm down by themselves, to slowly, place their thoughts and, at the right time, they will reach out your hand.

To push us, only destroys our self steem. Because I don’t know why a compulsive thought controls my mind. Another one doesn’t know why suddenly life makes no sense at all, and another won’t just be able to even look at you or hear you. You cannot help being hungry when you don’t eat. We can’t control those needs either.

Destroying a person’s feelings to make them fit among regular people, just make things worse. If you love someone, you will accept them just the way they are. If you cannot understand, and cannot resist the impulse to correct them, then let us go. Many people is not used to respect. All of us fill our mouths with words of humbleness and respect but at the end of the day, that is very rare to find.

Listen, special minds lead to special behaviors. 

It’s not better. It’s not worse. It’s just something no one can understand, not even us, and you can get better through many ways, but you will always be who you already are.

“Something is wrong with you”

“You’re crazy, insane”

“You’re unbearable”

“Stop worrying so much”

Before telling this to someone who cannot control what they do, just leave them alone. Is like someone blaming you because you’re sleepy at night. Showing support, sometimes is as simple as not asking questions. Accepting how they feel, without any judgement or prejudice.

Let me tell you something, the most beautiful minds I have known so far, are special. Crazy? Insane? Compulsive? hyperactive? LOL yes, I can tell. Crazy, amazing, brilliant minds.

And if I have to, often, lay on the floor, bring emergency 4am ice cream, hear a dissertation about why roses are red, cry with them or sit next to someone for an hour until they realize I’m there, it will be definitely worth it.

 

I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.

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