DARK POETRY – Redemption by Mar Watercolor

Image source https://es.pinterest.com/pin/236087205448595978/

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry when I fall and crush,

and you need to squad next to me to pick me up.

I’m sorry, when I make you stop

to caress my hair

 

“What’s wrong baby? No worries, I’m here” I faint.

I’m sorry, when my blood beats too warm.

When I should, and I’m blind.

When I take two steps back, one forward.

When I regret and shake.

 

“You are my little angel, please, don’t cry.”

“I’m the fiercest,

A beast, a shark.

You give your soul to please me.

You don’t fall,

It’s me… I push you hard.”

 

“Such a bold soul,

for your thin, small shadow.

You’re as fierce as I am,

Because only a beast

can submit to a beast.

This is a fact,

You never give up,

Fighting like a warrior.”

 

“No fear, no complaints,

no excuses, just a smile.

Maybe some tears,

Levels are hard to catch.

You know… I’m demolished and you held my hand.”

 

“And if anyone might say,

when they think of us,

that the one with the whip

is the one in charge,

Then they haven’t understood

not even a single thing.”

 

“So do not dare to be sorry.

Being at my height,

You’re the first one.”

Salvation and redemption

comes from surrender and throbbing trust.

 

 

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I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.

WHAT DO HAVE THE GODS TO SAY. Compulsive thoughts.

 

[…]Have you ever felt the sharp pain in your chest, deep and warm, when you cannot stop doing things wrong? Yes. Like THAT dream where you cannot move easily as if you were covered in mud, so thoughts around you spin endlessly at a speed you cannot even guess what they are about, you just hear them cry out…

Walking fast, trying to leave behind all that noise but, ah no dear, it will follow you everywhere as your own shadow. Get out get out!!! *smiles* Hate becomes sadness keeping your eyes hurting all day long, because you can’t get rid of yourself.

Noise noise noise…. NOISE! Compulsive neuronal ruts are impossible to tear up. You try and try and break down your sources of hope and will. Water, I need water. Lots. Coffee, coffee maybe. But wait, ah… that sound… “when you go… what do have the Gods to say….?” yes. What was that about? I don’t know. SILENCE. Please…

Take control. Take control. Earth calling you, yes? you there? No, I’m out. I can’t focus… faster and faster. Speed up your fears, perhaps they will just sweep along with your obsessions, with the noise, with the water… My hands still covered in charcoal. Options are decreasing… spread way to thin, so you just look like a quiet soul, but you’re pure dynamite waiting for a trigger, patiently…. no, my mind doesn’t make a single thing patiently. Willingly. Perhaps. Constant… over and over and over. Yes? Yah, you know.

Welcome to my mind.[…]

I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.

What’s your secret? Don’t tell me, just read and submerge.

THE BOLD MOM Mar Watercolor Mermaid beast

Let me today get out of my way, today is Sunday after all… not a free day tho.

Today I couldn’t sleep, and I had a thought crossed in my mind. And as everything interesting, I want to share with you all.

The secret life of everyone of us. As long as we have a mind, we have a secret life.

A secret little world where no one can get in.

I do have mine. And it’s a big one. And I water this garden everyday because it’s a very important part of my life. What about you? Do you want to find out you also have a secret little cabin amongst the brambles of your mind?

There’s a quote that says “everyone has a public life, a private life, and a secret life.”

And I love it because it’s spectacularly true.

I don’t know why, we use to think that it’s a bad side, or a dark one. Well yes, it’s a dark one but it’s because it’s the place where we keep safe our weakest and vaporous desires, pleasures, punishments and wishes.

Ville Valo said once Falling in love is the best way to kill your heart because then it’s not yours anymore. It’s laid in a coffin, waiting to be cremated.” 

Isn’t it beautiful? Maybe a bit too much, but today I don’t feel like conditioning my texts with taboo’s.

This quote caught my attention because this little coffin he talks about, is the same place I’m trying to make you notice.

Inside yourself.

Where your fears and monsters remain. Where you had your heart and beating blood, and now you keep another’s one heart, and bury the box somewhere warm so, even in this secret forest of yours, no one can find it. And you burn the map, and plant a tree on top.

A tree that blooms maroon enormous flowers every Winter, when the snow covers everything. And they melt when Spring arrives, creating a ruby circle around your most precious treasure.  

If I made you think, and I left you with a haunting gaze, then my work is done.

Have a beautiful (and a bit secret) day.

I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.

Quick thought. Noise.

If you ever find yourself lost in the darkness

Expect your mind to be your worst enemy,

Your breath the only noise.

The monsters, crawling in your veins.

Because all you see is just an illusion,

Born from the ashes

Of aching desires.

You can never be understood

But by a beast just like you.

Blind, broken, and lost.

Souls gone to pieces

Not always match

But sometimes,

Find their own peace and quiet.

When you’re exhausted, you look for nothing more than silence.

I’m Mar.
Head of The Bold Mom.
Promoter and compulsive thinker.