“The stereotypical country music song” by Joseph Vasquez

 

It seems like for the past few years my life has been like a stereotypical country music song; so much of my time and money has gone to my truck and my dogs (I don’t have anything against pure country, it’s one of the most sincere forms of music) My dogs are family, so I would do anything for them, and my truck is almost 13 years old, so there’s obviously going to be issues.

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I live in beautiful, sunny Southern California, the longest I've gone without a dog is two weeks, and I'm going to write until I can't anymore.

“One, two… three.” by Mar G

 

When your mind lives at the edge. Between madness and a cold, deep cliff. Juggling with your compulsions, ripping masks. When your mind hides your exhaustion under sleepless nights, devastating amounts of knives… sailing boats… blind butterflies… burning memories, looking for redemption in every breath you take.

*too much noise*

Too much, too much…

I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. Compulsions. One, two, three. There, again. One, two… don’t interrupt me, this is important. THIS IS IMPORTANT. Shhhhh play “normal”. JUST play “normal”.

One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two… oh c’mon you can handle this.

Three.

*fuck.

 

I'm Mar. Head of The Bold Mom. Promoter and compulsive thinker.

Blaming, accusing and rejecting are not the way to care about special minds.

It’s been a long time since I wrote, because now I have amazing authors sharing their thoughts here. But today I felt like to share something.

I interact with many people everyday, read some others. The main problem people with some mental health issue have (we, have) is that we’re prey of judgments and cynicism. Introvert people never attack others, but you become a bull’s eye. Because you’re quiet, you’re arrogant (a relation that has always surprised me, but it’s real, and common because I have been told some times).

Society is complex. And not fitting is a real emotional problem. Because you need to become very strong and self confident as to not caring about being different. And if something misses in introvert/quiet/OCD’s/etc people, is self confidence. The “funny” fact about that, is that in an aim for being the same as everyone, the most beautiful people in this planet don’t even recognize each other, because all of them are pretending, and suffering. 

You get corrected, blamed, told off. You get excluded, attacked, misunderstood. “Why are you sad? Cheer up!” “Why are you so obsessed with things? Just be happy!” “Just stop doing that!” Are those familiar to you? You know what, one a soul shines bright in one direction, the opposite one stays in the shadows. A brilliant mind will have a escape of energy somewhere. A very intelligent person is very susceptible to suffer OCD, because the same capability of absorbing, processing, retaining information is the same that provokes obsessions and compulsive behavior. And people around blaming you, get it worse.

An extremely sensitive person, easily will catch depressive periods or lack of concentration, because their emotions blow them up. They are able to feel things the rest we don’t even dream of. And people around blaming you, make it worse.

And I could go on. But I don’t want to get anyone bored. When I’m nervous or stressed by something (which happens with ease) I become even more compulsive, I drink tons of water, I can’t focus, I draw without measure to the point that I get my hands all black and if I finish my sheets then I draw on napkins. Because I have venom to expulse. I don’t mean to be understood, I don’t need anyone to tell me “calm down”. You can’t say “be happy” to a depressive. You can’t tell to slow down to an OCD. Do you know what we need? I need someone to bring me more charcoal because “where the fuck all my charcoal went” is my only thought. My only compulsive, circular, obsessive thought.

And I won’t hear anything in that moment.

Do you know what to do with a depressive person? Stop with trash about how beautiful life is. Bring them some strawberry ice cream and lay down on the floor with them. Because that, too, will go away. Keep your wisdom for you, that is NOT the moment.

You can’t tell to a ADHD (deficit of attention and hyperactivity) to stop and listen to you, to stop worrying. Do you know why? because that awesome mind is thinking about ten million things, and the last thing they need to stand is you claiming their attention. They need to calm down by themselves, to slowly, place their thoughts and, at the right time, they will reach out your hand.

To push us, only destroys our self steem. Because I don’t know why a compulsive thought controls my mind. Another one doesn’t know why suddenly life makes no sense at all, and another won’t just be able to even look at you or hear you. You cannot help being hungry when you don’t eat. We can’t control those needs either.

Destroying a person’s feelings to make them fit among regular people, just make things worse. If you love someone, you will accept them just the way they are. If you cannot understand, and cannot resist the impulse to correct them, then let us go. Many people is not used to respect. All of us fill our mouths with words of humbleness and respect but at the end of the day, that is very rare to find.

Listen, special minds lead to special behaviors. 

It’s not better. It’s not worse. It’s just something no one can understand, not even us, and you can get better through many ways, but you will always be who you already are.

“Something is wrong with you”

“You’re crazy, insane”

“You’re unbearable”

“Stop worrying so much”

Before telling this to someone who cannot control what they do, just leave them alone. Is like someone blaming you because you’re sleepy at night. Showing support, sometimes is as simple as not asking questions. Accepting how they feel, without any judgement or prejudice.

Let me tell you something, the most beautiful minds I have known so far, are special. Crazy? Insane? Compulsive? hyperactive? LOL yes, I can tell. Crazy, amazing, brilliant minds.

And if I have to, often, lay on the floor, bring emergency 4am ice cream, hear a dissertation about why roses are red, cry with them or sit next to someone for an hour until they realize I’m there, it will be definitely worth it.

 

I'm Mar. Head of The Bold Mom. Promoter and compulsive thinker.

“Inside an Introverted Mind” by Joseph Vasquez

I’m not rude, I don’t think I’m any better than you, my mind just doesn’t function like yours. You may love to be around a lot of people, I don’t. It’s not that I don’t want to, I just can’t, I would love to go to a ball game, but I can’t be around that many people.

If I try to have a conversation with you, that means I care about you. If I try to make you laugh, it means I would take a bullet for you, and if I pursue a relationship with you, I have every intention of asking you to take my last name one day.

I admire how the extroverted mind works, in some ways, I’m envious. I’ve had to pretend that I had your traits during interviews; I mean, who really likes working on a team? I watch movies and wonder how people do that, if anything, I’d want to be the one writing the material for someone else.    

Introverts get stereotyped as weird, shy and as loners. Extroverts get stereotyped as loud, fake and needy. When will we realize that we are just people? Unique individuals with gifts that we can use to inspire and motivate each other.  

I live in beautiful, sunny Southern California, the longest I've gone without a dog is two weeks, and I'm going to write until I can't anymore.

HEY CHURCH, STOP SAD-SHAMING ME by Jason Ramsey

[…]Churches try to upsell Jesus to the mentally ill. They say that Jesus will solve all of your problems. It is only through Christ that you will find joy. How can you be a Christian and be so depressed? Don’t you know that God will lift your burdens if you give them to Him? It’s sad-shaming. And it only perpetuates the problem.[…]

[…]But, there’s a big difference between understanding and trivializing. And this is where the church can learn and grow.[…]

Accept the fact that happiness cannot be forced upon or shamed unto people. Destroy the existential disgrace of “free will or else”. Turn the stigmatic examples of Biblical exorcism into real life accounts of family members who struggle, but find ways to survive.[…]

 

Find the entire article on the link below. You need to read this, whichever your believes are, it will resonate with some corner of your soul.

 

Hey Church, Stop Sad-Shaming Me

I'm Mar. Head of The Bold Mom. Promoter and compulsive thinker.